Let's talk about something taboo. Anger in motherhood.

I didn’t expect to feel so angry as a mom. Sure, I knew it would be hard—sleepless nights, messy rooms, never-ending demands—but no one really talks about how deep anger can cut. The kind that sneaks in when you’re already running on fumes, when your toddler is refusing to brush their teeth again, or when the sound of "Mom!" for the hundredth time makes your skin crawl. As a stay at home mom, I feel this more now, than ever before. I am with her 24/7.

The hardest part? It’s not just the anger itself. It’s the guilt that follows—the little voice that whispers, good moms don’t get angry. And let’s be honest, that guilt hits harder when you’re trying to raise your kids differently than you were raised. I grew up in a home where emotions, especially anger, were explosive, and I promised myself my kids wouldn’t experience the same. But here I am, in those messy moments, trying to break patters that feel impossible.

Where Does This Anger Come From?

The truth is, my anger usually isn’t about my daughter. It’s about me—my exhaustion, my anxiety, my struggle to juggle all the things. Sometimes it’s about the expectations I put on myself that are irrational, like the belief that I’m supposed to have endless patience or keep a spotless house. And sometimes, it’s about unhealed parts of my past creeping in.

If you’re feeling this too, let me just say: you’re not alone. Motherhood has a way of pulling out everything we’ve tucked away—good and bad. That can feel overwhelming, but it’s also an opportunity to grow, to heal, and to rewrite the story for our families.

Faith and Frustration

One thing I’ve learned is that faith isn’t about avoiding hard feelings; it’s about learning what to do with them. God doesn’t expect me to have it all together (thank goodness!). Instead, He’s there in the middle of my mess, offering grace and strength when I feel like I have nothing left to give.

Here’s what that looks like for me:

1. Praying in the Moment: When I feel anger bubbling up, I whisper a quick prayer: “God, please help me handle this better.” It’s not magic, but it’s grounding, like hitting the pause button before I react.

2. Leaning on Grace: When I lose my cool (because let’s be real, it happens more than I like to admit), I remind myself that God’s grace is bigger than my mistakes. Apologizing to Luci and starting fresh is part of the process.

3. Healing Old Wounds: Some of my anger comes from the way I was raised. I used to live in a constant fight (or flight) response. If that resonates with you, know this: God can heal those places in your heart. For me, it’s been a mix of prayer, Scripture, and so much therapy.

   
   

Breaking the Cycle

If you’re trying to break generational patterns, I see you. It’s hard work and I feel like I am always getting it wrong. But every time we choose to pause instead of yell, or explain instead of explode, we're building something new. We’re showing our kids that emotions aren’t bad—they’re just signals—and that it’s okay to mess up as long as you make it right.

For me, this has meant doing things I never saw growing up, like telling Luci, “I’m sorry I yelled. I was frustrated, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” It feels awkward at first, but her little face light up when she sees I’m trying.

Practical Tips for the Hard Moments

Here are a few things that have helped me:

• Step Away: When I feel anger rising, I’ll say, “I need a minute,” and walk to another room. Sometimes just those 30 seconds to breathe and pray make all the difference.

• Lower My Voice: This one’s counterintuitive, but speaking softly when I want to shout helps calm everyone (myself included).

• Let Go of Perfection: This one is particular hard for me. My house doesn’t have to look like Instagram, and Luci doesn’t need me to be a saint. She need me to love her and show up, even when it’s messy. She does not care about my to do list. She just cares that I play with her.

• Talk to Someone: Whether it’s a friend, a mom group, or a therapist, sharing your struggles can lighten the load. You don’t have to do this alone.

  
  

A New Story for Our Families

I remind myself often: I’m not just raising a child—I’m raising the next generation. By handling anger differently, I’m giving my daughter tools to navigate her own emotions in healthier ways. That’s no small thing.

But here’s the real beauty: it’s not about being perfect. It’s about showing up, trying again, and letting God’s grace fill the gaps where we fall short.

A Prayer for the Journey

“God, You see me in all my messiness, and You love me anyway. Help me to pause when I’m frustrated, to speak with patience, and to keep healing the parts of my heart that still need Your touch. Thank You for walking with me as I try to raise my child(ren) with love and grace. Amen.”

Motherhood isn’t about getting it all right. It’s about loving your kids through the ups and downs and trusting that God is holding your family—and you—every step of the way. You’ve got this mama. ❤️

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