Love is the foundation of our faith.

Jesus showed us the greatest act of love when He gave His life for us (John 3:16). But in the everyday moments of parenting, marriage, friendships, and family relationships, love isn’t always easy.

It’s a choice we must make over and over again.

So, how do we lead with love when things get messy? When our kids push every limit, when our spouse is distant, when friendships feel strained, or when family members disappoint us? Let’s explore what it means to love like Jesus in real life.

Loving Our Children Through Patience

Being a mom means endless demands, late-night wake-ups, and plenty of moments that test our patience. When our child throws a tantrum in the grocery store or refuses to listen, our instinct might be frustration. But love calls us to respond with patience rather than anger.

What I have learned as a teacher and a mom, behaviors are always a signal of something else. For my little, it is usually tiredness, or not enough connection throughout the day. When behaviors do happen, it is her telling me that she needs a hug, connection, and/or a nap. It is never a signal to be yelled at, or demeaned, or belittled.

“Love is patient, love is kind.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4

Patience doesn’t mean ignoring bad behavior, but it does mean responding in a way that builds connection rather than shame. Instead of snapping, we can take a deep breath, kneel to their level, and gently correct them. I find that when I do this, Luci is quicker to calm, and will tell me what the problem is. If I yell, she shuts down.

I often think about when she is a teenager, how I want her to react. Her problems will be bigger, and her emotions will be much harder to handle. Do I want her to shut down, go to her room, and not tell me what happened? No, I want her to come to me. I want her to know that I will react in a calm and respectful manner to help her navigate whatever it is she is struggling with. But that relationship starts here, when they are young. Our goal as a parent is to understand what the emotion is so that we can help them navigate, and we can't do that if we are yelling, punishing or demeaning them.

When we lead with love, we teach them how to handle emotions in a Christ-like way. Many of us come from families where anger, harsh words, or even abuse were the norm. Perhaps yelling was the way problems were handled, or silence and avoidance took the place of healthy discussions. But as followers of Christ, we are called to break those cycles.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” – Romans 12:2

Leading with love often means going against everything we’ve known mentally and emotionally. It means choosing to pause instead of reacting, speaking life instead of criticism, and showing our children and loved ones a different way. If we grew up without love being modeled well, we can ask God to help us rewrite that story. It’s hard work, but through His strength, we can break free and create a legacy of love and grace.

Loving Our Spouse Through Understanding

Marriage isn’t always romance and butterflies. Some days, it’s misunderstanding, exhaustion, and two people struggling to be on the same page. My husband is a police officer, and works a lot of long hours. When he is home, sometimes he is "checked out" and needs to regroup. With us being home 24/7, he doesn't usually get that quiet space. I often remind myself that he isn't ignoring us or disassociating with his phone, he is just switching modes from police officer to daddy/husband. I don't always get it right and can say hurtful things to him if my cup isn't full. I often apologize and try again. But that is what marriage is about; grace, forgiveness, and trying again.

Maybe your spouse had a long day at work and barely speaks at dinner. Instead of assuming they don’t care, leading with love means offering grace.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2

A simple, “Hey, you seem tired. Do you want to talk or just rest?” can turn a moment of frustration into one of support. Love chooses to listen instead of assuming the worst.

Loving Our Friends Through Forgiveness

Friendships go through seasons—sometimes they’re effortless, and other times, they require hard conversations. Maybe a friend let you down, forgot an important event, or said something hurtful. It’s tempting to pull away, but Jesus calls us to forgiveness.

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8

Leading with love means addressing hurt but also offering grace. A conversation that starts with, “I felt hurt when this happened, but I value our friendship” keeps the door open for healing rather than division.

I have also learned that sometimes friendships are only meant for a season. They are not always lifelong and that is ok.

Loving Our Family Through Boundaries

Family relationships can be the most complicated. I know that is definitely the case for me. If you read my blog on boundaries, you know exactly the hurt I am talking about. Maybe there’s tension, past wounds, or differences in values. Love doesn’t mean

allowing unhealthy behavior—it means setting boundaries with grace. I can love my family and not allow them to treat me with disrespect.

Jesus loved everyone, but He also stepped away when necessary. If a family member is toxic or continually hurts you, loving them might mean setting limits while keeping a forgiving heart.

“Let all that you do be done in love.” – 1 Corinthians 16:14

The Ultimate Example of Love

Jesus didn’t just tell us to love; He showed us. He loved the broken, the outcast, the ones who betrayed Him. And He loves us despite our mistakes. When we feel like love is too hard, we can look to Him.

Leading with love doesn’t mean being perfect. It means choosing grace over anger, patience over frustration, and forgiveness over resentment. It’s a daily choice to reflect Christ’s love in our relationships.

Who in your life needs to see love in action today? Let’s be intentional about leading with love, just as Jesus does for us every single day.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for being the ultimate example of love. Help me to lead with love in my home, my marriage, my friendships, and my family. When I feel frustrated, give me patience. When I feel hurt, remind me to communicate and forgive. When I struggle with past patterns of anger, renew my heart and mind. Let Your love flow through me so that I can reflect Your grace in my relationships. Thank You for always loving me, even when I fall short. May my actions bring You glory.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.